Values - a ritual
There’s something beautiful about living life in alignment with your values. This to me feels so beautiful and shimmery that its always calling me!
Imagine being so clear that when someone poses the question, ‘what are your values?’ you can offer up values that are a reflection of your life, without shrinking or dying when this ask comes.
But there’s a few common stumbling blocks around articulating them;
such as thinking that we must stick to the same ones for a lifetime.
unconsciously adopting other peoples values (think friends, family or work)
or punishing ourselves with them…. using them as some sort of mental whip and then hating on ourselves when we dont align with them 100% of the time.
I’ve done work on values for years; bought the books, listened to lectures, worked with a women’s coach & yoga teachers. And I’ll say this, its been super valuable, I learnt a lot about myself and what it really means to find values you actually value.
There is a lightness and an optimism that shows up when you are working and living with what
>> YOU TRULY VALUE<<.
I’d like to share with you a Values Ritual (as I value rituals), a way to open the door to sweet magic and creative thinking along with some straight forward and direct prompts.
Lets make it beautiful. I LOVE ritual, I VALUE the process of ritual. Because it takes me directly to one of my values, Ease (more on that later).
Sorrento June 2023; Imagine that these 3 gentlemen are doing the ritual below.
Setting the scene:
Find a quiet sweet spot; a favourite chair or park bench, a cool cafe, your bed. Just somewhere you feel cosy and restful.
Tools: take a piece of paper and a nice pen (sorry no screens, old school pen to paper).
Mood: please light some incense, or turn on a diffuser or light a scented candle. Pop some relaxing tunes on.
Find your seat, close your eyes and take a handful conscious breaths, in and out. This brings our thoughts back to our selves, centred and alive.
Open your eyes and lets do some detective work 🔎
Our lives are a reflection of our choices. Our lives are our values out loud. Your life, as it is right now, is a result of all your choices (& yes, of course the choices of others), but look in your wardrobe, you most likely chose those clothes, your pantry (did you do the shopping), your handbag (lipstick, lego, losenge’s), the Netflix/YouTube/Stan/Binge any streaming service or free to air TV shows you watch …. not sold on this, well, how’s the algorithm working for you? Isn’t it funny how social media shows us more of what we want. But is this a good thing? I guess yes if you find those cute slippers you want, but not if it keeps us in world where all we get are reinforcements of what we already want/know, it keeps us narrow and small.
Other interesting places to visit to check out what you value:
Instagram - the saved section, I review this every couple of weeks, pulling out quotes, poems, shoes, dresses, events that I have saved for later.
Pinterest - look at what you saved last, whats popping up, what does your Pinterest Home page look like? What images are showing up?
Take a look at your bookshelf, what do you LOVE reading about? What are you done with? What chapters have closed? True Crime, Yoga, John Grisham, Philosophy, Fiction, Travel Writing?
Look into your wardrobe, what clothes, which scarfs, dresses, or pants, activewear, handbags? Notice the colours, textures, fabrics. Which clothes do you feel a million bucks in, which ones do you feel crappy in but continue to wear.
What qualities do you appreciate in others? What don’t you like? Which qualities are you trying to cultivate in yourself?
Write it all down. Let it be a mind map of what you are loving right now.
Sit with this piece of paper, and ask yourself: what does it look like my values are?
Give it time, revelaing values isnt an overnight activity. I believe these things take time, and that’s okay.
Here’s some wisdom to sit with below:
Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer," - Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters To A Young Poet.
